


Hallucinations

by Zimothy



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, PTSD, Trauma, Very minor heat exhaustion, Zim's repressed memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zimothy/pseuds/Zimothy
Summary: Zim gets stuck out in the hot sun and starts hallucinating about when he witnessed Almighty Tallest Miyuki's death.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), ZADF - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 102





	Hallucinations

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a small drabble I created with katrinci and Rissynicole, but I really liked it and felt like expanding on it more!

Irkens could never handle intense heat. 

They had no way of keeping themselves cool, and Irk always had a relatively cold climate. The PAK could only do so much for its body shell, and Earth’s sun was so horribly hot. 

The walk home from school was agonizing, Zim had to sit down by the sidewalk to recollect himself. At least, he thought it was the sidewalk, now it seemed like his corner of the lab in Vort Research Station 9. 

He vaguely remembered this place. He was taken out of training, evaluated, and employed as a scientist on a planet far from home. He was the only Irken who worked there, and he was significantly younger than everyone else. 

He was left to his own devices within the lab. As the other scientists worked on complex machinery, Zim busied himself with genetic experimentation. He would show his little creations to the scientists and they would treat them dismissively. That was alright though, clearly they didn’t understand how genius Zim’s creatures were!

He adored the one he dubbed ‘chubby.’ 

It was small and fat. It could absorb energy, making it a powerful weapon that would surely help the empire! Zim made it a collar with a little bell on the front. The creature enjoyed the sound, it also enjoyed Zim’s pets. 

Vortians walked around all around him, busying themselves with something, ignoring him as usual.

Important company would be arriving soon. Zim had heard the commotion.

Almighty Tallest Miyuki. 

Irk’s longest standing ruler since the very first tallest. She was graceful, calm, and collected. She was well known for her genius in diplomacy. She gained the Irken Empire many allies and even more power amongst other empires.

Surely Zim could impress her with his great ideas.

She stood in the doorway, tall and beautiful, listening intently to the Vortian talking to her. 

He approached her, she looked down at him. A look of indifference came over her, a familiar question escaped her lips, _“Who is this little creature?” ___

____

__

It was odd, he couldn’t quite remember how and when this event occurred, but he knew it did. It was like a dream, something that felt far too distant to be real. Yet, here he was, standing before her with his most recent little creation in his hands. 

He felt excited to show her what he made. 

He wanted her to be proud of him. 

As her gaze focused on him, her form began to change in horrifying ways.

Her figure misshapen, a grimace came across her face, then it twisted into some maniacal grin. Her body twisted, bent at impossible angles, still she kept her deep blue eyes locked on Zim. 

The world around him crumbled away, no longer the recognizable lab, but now the gooey flesh of the creature he had created…

“YӨЦ'VΣ KIᄂᄂΣD MΣ.” she bellowed, her voice distorted and filled with malevolence. The sheer hatred in her accusations paralyzed Zim, he stood there, watching in horror as his Tallest descended onto him, her long clawed arms circling him. He was trapped in place.

What could he say? He’s sorry? He didn’t kill her, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t-

He didn’t mean to.

How was it that misfortune always followed him…He hadn’t wished to acknowledge it, the pattern that had been in place since the moment he was born. They were unfortunate mistakes, he was hardly to blame, only this…As much as he wished, he could not escape it. 

He tried to be rid of it, to bury it, to detach himself from it but it always came back. He experienced it like it was fresh and new, every single time. 

She was coming closer. Zim could feel her approaching even as he shut his eyes tight. He could bear to see her any longer. 

He threw a claw out, a feeble attempt at trying to defend himself. 

Something grabbed him, it wasn’t his deceased tallest though…

“Stop freaking out already.” Came the voice of the Dib-human, dragging him out of that personal hell.

They were both sitting in the shade, next to them was a vending machine. Dib had grabbed his claw with one hand, in the other he held a cold soda bottle up to Zim. Was he offering it to him?

“Don’t drink it, just place it up against your forehead.” Dib instructed, pointing to his own. 

“Why?” Zim questioned as he took it. It was cold, even against his gloved claws, he put it on his forehead and enjoyed how it cooled him down. 

“Because you were clearly having some kind of heat stroke and it seems Irkens are incapable of sweating.” Dib explained, taking a sip out of the drink he got for himself.

Zim didn’t know what compelled him to strike up a friendly conversation with the human. Was it because the human helped him? Or perhaps the heat and surely gotten to him. Either way, he answered Dib’s question of his biology. 

“Irkens don’t…’sweat’ as you call it. If something is hot our PAKs cool us down, but if it’s too hot there’s not much we can do.” Zim said, leaning into the cool feeling of the soda bottle pressed up against his forehead. The dizziness was beginning to fade. 

“Huh, that’s pretty interesting.” Dib replied. “I guess your planet is on the colder side then.”

“Yes.” Zim answered. 

They sat in silence for just a short while before Dib spoke up again, “What were you screaming about earlier? Who is Miyuki?”

Zim froze, unable to explain what he saw in mere words. A part of him had trouble remembering the most of it, it only ever came to him in vague memories and feelings. Some of what he remembered was completely distorted. He could not remember Miyuki’s last words, if she had any. He couldn’t even remember what happened after the incident.

When it came to him, it was like a vivid nightmare. It didn’t feel real, but it definitely was. He hated that is was real.

“Hey, can you hear me? I asked who Miyuki was.” Dib poked at his side when he didn’t get a response. “Were they another Irken?” 

Dib sounded distant to him, even his physical touch felt next to nothing as Zim retreated into the depths of his mind. Eyes wide, staring at nothing, but in his mind, he was staring in Miyuki’s blue eyes. They were so rare and beautiful, truly there was nothing quite like her, and there likely never will be again. 

“Zim, are you okay?” Dib called out to him again, this time there was genuine worry in his voice. It was rare for the human to express concern, but he did. Perhaps it was his thirst for knowledge that made him worry that the alien wasn’t answering him, or maybe it was that human quality in him, that natural empathy that was hidden within even the most apathetic of creatures. 

Zim looked up at him, his vision blurry. At first he worried that the heat might have gotten to him again, but then he blinked and felt tears roll down his cheeks. He quickly looked back to the ground. 

“It’s fine, you can tell me some other time.” Dib assured him.

How weak of him, to shed tears in front of the enemy. Except in this situation, Zim supposed the bigger enemy to him right now was the heat and not the Dib-human this time. 

Maybe it was okay to let those emotions out, emotions of grief, anxiety, and regret. What he had done in the past couldn’t truly escape him as much as he wished it could. He had spent his whole life trying to trick himself into believing his failures were victories. If he believed in a lie hard enough, eventually it could become the truth. 

But Almighty Miyuki, her loss was a loss for the entire empire and for him. He tried to repress her memory, to forget it, to be unfazed, but she still returned to him. How he wished he had not stood so close to the infinite energy producing thingy. 

Zim turned back to Dib who still had not left. There was no obligation for him to continue sitting with Zim, he had already saved Zim from his delusions as well as curing his heat exhaustion. Why was he still here?

Dib said nothing to him, he just continued to drink his soda in silence. Zim remained by his side, unwilling to step out into the hot sun anytime soon. The coldness of the soda bottle had begun to diminish, Zim noticed this and removed it from his head. He couldn’t drink the Earth soda as it had toxins in it that were dangerous for him, so he just kind of looked at it sadly. Its comforting coolness was completely gone. 

Dib took the bottle from him as he stood up. “I’ll get you a new one.” He said, he threw his empty bottle into the trash can close to them and rested Zim’s bottle under his arm put. From his pocket he retrieved a dollar and fed it into the vending machine, then he returned to Zim with the new old soda bottle. 

It was a surprising act of kindness. Was this all because Zim was vulnerable?

There were no tricks, no threats of exposure, there was just a cold soda bottle given to him by his rival.  
Zim placed the bottle to his head and continued to sit in silence alongside Dib. 

The memories of Miyuki began to fade as they always did, lying dormant within his mind. They would resurface once again, but for now, they were gone. There was nothing but the comfortable silence between both him and Dib.

**Author's Note:**

> A part of me thinks Zim really doesn't remember the incident with Miyuki, but another part of me is like...What if he does? Expanding upon the unfortunate incident in which Zim accidentally murders his tallest is fun!


End file.
